Schnitzel & Vegetarian Schnitzel Go To Berlin

Sugimoto @ Neu National Gallery

2008-08-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, Schnitzel and I went to the Sugimoto exhibit at the Neu National Gallery. Sugimoto's works largely deal with perspective and the intricacy of everyday phenomenon. His newest segment, Lightning Fields, is simply amazing. Negatives of photos of lightning bolts are hung in front of a lit screen (much in the same way x-rays are observed by doctors). The result is that you can see all the "fibers" of the bolts, and the intricate root-like patterns within. It was pretty amazing. We took home a poster of Sugimoto's portrait of the diorama at Madame Tussards of Henry the 8th. Sugimoto's website is here in case you want to take a look: http://www.sugimotohiroshi.com/ We also saw a temporary exhibit on Rupprecht Geiger who is now 100 years old and experimenting with bright neon colors that are almost too much for human perception. Take that young people.

Pirate Bar & The Police

2008-08-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday we tried to find fun stuff in Berlin amuse our visitors with, but as it was raining not much could be found. We mostly ended up wandering trying to find the Jewish Museum but never did. We stopped at Yaam (a reggae club that was supposed to be having a festival) which was nearly vacant and infested with bees. Schnitzel went home. Below is what Yaam looks like on a sunny day.

The rest of us went to a pirate bar and had drinks while waiting for a band featuring a violin, guitar, drumset, accordian, and a unicycle (or so we thought) to set up. While waiting, one of Berlin's colorful locals with a bit too much alcohol in 'em came over and started talking to us about the Police. He started off by singing "Sending out an SOS" (which was the song currently on the itunes shuffle lazily abandoned by the bartender). Then he crouched down in front of the table so he was eye level with us and told us how he had seen Sting play at the Ziegman Sea (?) in Overalls(!) And do you know what he was singing?" he asked us incredulously. "No, what?" "He was singing..." his voice escalated rapidly to the point where he was screaming, "about the RHINE!" The small, disinterested waitress came over and with a wristful series of hand gestures told the gentleman to leave. We decided at this point to leave and went to Burgermeister (a sub-metro hamburger joint where railings with padding = seats) for dinner where we overheard a festival band doing covers of "Jump, Jump" "Just Like A Pill" and other songs featured in "NOW" CDs. We went back to the Pirate Bar to see if the unicycle band was up an running. It was, but only in the usual way bar bands are. We left. Went home. Fell asleep.

"Burgermeister" imbiss located underneath the Schlesisches Tor Ubahn. Tofu burger = fried tofu in curry sandwiches between bun with onions. Mmmm.

"Zum Fetten Ecke" - Shady but relaxed pirate bar in xberg.

Fury In The Slaughterhouse: Hannover

2008-08-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

We've been busy the past couple days because my good friend Avri and his friend Cliff came to stay with us on Thursday. The main goal of their trip (in addition to seeing me/Berlin) was to go to a concert for a band that Cliff has been a huge fan of for many many years called Fury and the Slaughterhouse. The concert was on Friday and we rented a car and drove for hours in traffic and rain (or I should say Carlos drove for hours in traffic and rain) to Hannover after discovering that Hannover by train is rather expensive as the line which connects Berlin and Hannover is the ICE. The concert itself was maybe not my biggest cup of tea: 80s-sounding popular rock by a band now nearly in their 50s. Surprisingly the songs were all in English and although the crowd was entirely German everyone sang along. I think Cliff at least had a good time as the band dedicated a song to him for coming all the way from America (and the drummer's wife later called him insane). Schnitzel and I had a pretty miserable time as we did not have backstage passes and spent much of the time after the concert dodging drunken Hannoverins and trying to figure out where the car was in the rain. We didn't get back until 5 and fell asleep upon arrival. After returning the car the next day, we realized we had paid over 200 euros for the whole experience, which is about 75 dollars each. This morning on the table there was a note written to Schnitzel from Avri stating his gratitude and suggesting that we had all gotten into more than we had bargained for.

Liquidrom: What Spas Want To Be When They Grow Up

2008-07-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

This week we went to Liquidrom, a giant domed warehouse turned spa thing near Mockenbrucke. The entry ticket was expensive (17,50 for 2 hours) and later we realized we should have purchased the 4 hour card for 20,50 or the day card for 22,50 as these were only slightly more expensive. Despite the steep price, the experience was worth it: a steam room, a dry sauna, and two large heated pools were up for grabs. The largest of the heated pools was underneath the dome. Whale sounds and minimalist music echoed from the speakers into the water. Colorful light displays were projected onto the walls on either side changing the water from pink to purple to blue and so on. They also had free funoodles which we made thorough use of as there were only a couple other people there (we went around 2 on a Tuesday). The warm salt water made our bodies even more buoyant. I didn't use the cold pool as much as Schnitzel did, the water being just above freezing when compared with that of the heated pool. It was also less of a pool and more of a well being about 4' x 4' with a ladder leading down into the water. It resembled one of the rooms from that movie "The Cube." The bar tenders were very nice about checking our bracelets to make sure we didn't overstay our 2 hour limit. The outdoor area was also nice, if a bit warm as it was a hot day. We had to get naked to use the sauna and the spa as well as the cold pool which was okay because not many people were there. Schnitzel was surprisingly comfortable in his birthday suit. We didn't try the massages as they were even more of an expense and the entry ticket was a splurge as it was. We will definitely try to go back during the night, maybe on a weekend when they are open until 1 am.

http://www.liquidrom-berlin.de/

$2,000 Hospital Bill For Sprained Ankle

2008-07-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

Yet another problem with my insurance company A La Carte Health Insurance (underwritten by Allianz). While visiting my folks at home, I had an accident and injured my ankle. I thought it might only be a sprain but to make sure it wasn't something more serious like a broken bone (because I wasn't able to walk on it) I went to the emergency to have it checked out. They did some xrays and told me in the end that it was probably just a sprain but I should have an MRI to make sure. I decided to rest it and see if the MRI was really needed and it was not as I recovered in about a week. Later, I received a bill from the hospital: $2,000. This was for them to briefly examine me and take some x-rays. They said the rate was so high because of the severity of the situation. The irony is that my insurance company wrote me to tell me that they would not cover the expense as the injury did not present an "immediate risk to my health." I politely wrote them back and asked them how on Earth not being able to walk was not a risk to my health? I am currently locked in an email battle between my insurance company who needs a dozen forms filled out and the hospital who says they have to bounce my case to a collection agency because I have foreign insurance. This whole thing sucks and I have a feeling I'm going to get stuck with the bill. For anyone reading this who is considering insurance: do not go with A La Carte. Their service is terrible and in the end they stick you with a bunch of paperwork and cover very little.

Woman Marries Berlin Wall

2008-06-26T14:30:00.000-07:00

This is interesting. And weird. And interesting:
http://www.berlinermauer.se/BerlinWall/tragedy.htm
Full explanation here: http://www.algonet.se/~giljotin/explan.html

I've heard more than a few people say they preferred things when Berlin was divided, and have heard many say the opposite as well, but I've NEVER heard of anyone going so far as to declare the wall, both seriously and passionately, is their husband.

Fussball Season or WWIII?

2008-06-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

It is fussball season and the fans out on the street in front of my house have just gone crazy. Turkey won the game and now every car within a 5 mile radius is honking, people are screaming, and the sounds of fireworks ripping through the air like gun shots disturbs the storm moist summer night. Is this really the end of a fussball game or the start of a war?

Bee Sting, Test Results, Money Troubles

2008-06-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

So my arm is swollen to the size of a soft ball because I got stung by a bee and Schnitzel is trying to blame it on the Burt's Bees lotion I brought back from the states saying that bees are attracted to bees wax which is a main ingredient. Yesterday I got hit by a Turkish woman in a small turquoise car whilst riding my bike back home from the hospital. I didn't ask her to pay to fix my bike because at this point I am so sick of all the pending paperwork that really if I am not dead I could care less. Luckily my test results indicate that I am disease free. And I will finally after several months of fervent emails be getting the money my insurance mistakenly sent to the hospital for the whole incident. All this paper work for 68 bucks? Yes, but really it's just the principle of the whole thing. I am still making only 12,000 a year and am still looking for a 2nd job. But not finding one.

Coming Home (briefly)

2008-05-20T14:38:00.000-07:00

My ankle seems to be taking a turn for the better after several days on crutches (although my pits are still throbbing like mad crazy.)
This experience coming back home has in many ways been more eye-opening than my experience moving abroad. A lot has changed in four months but probably even more hasn't changed and only appears to have changed when compared to living where I've been living. Coming back has made me realize I don't understand a lot about who I am (just yet) or where I'm going or even (which should probably be the bare minimum) where I come from. Coming back to the states has given me a new view of what living in Berlin really means- it is like I can see the whole picture now. Maybe one was just not complete without the other. I'm not sure.
It has been great getting to see friends of mine who may or may not be able to make it to Berlin. We Americans are at a great geographical and economic disadvantage when it comes to traveling. It is probably why our employers are able to give us so little vacation time.

honey I'm Home

2008-05-16T14:43:00.000-07:00

Hey kids! I'm back in lovely sunny AMERIKA!
I stayed a week in France and am now back in San Francisco / the Bay Area. I'm staying until Wednesday but will try to extend my ticket to next Sunday so I have more time. Yesterday I went to Walgreens and bought $200 worth of american hygiene products and drugs (tylenol, neosporin, etc.) for my trip back to yermany. It took me an hour to get home because BART was delayed and malfunctioning due to the heat. There was no air conditioner on my train and people were tense. Somewhere behind me I heard the following:
(into a phone) "Oh, it's nothing I'm just on BART and people are fucking nosy."
"Well when you're on a train and you're speaking loud so everyone can hear you it's card to NOT notice."
"Shut up bitch."
"Fuck you."
Ah, yes, it is good to be home among my peoples. Or at least to be able to grab a bunch of cheap Tylenol, deodorant, and root beer and run, run like hell.

The "Secret" Entrance to the Louvre

2008-05-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

So today we're going to the Louvre. I've been warned about the horrendous line coming from the pyramid and have been told by no less than 5 people about other so-called "secret" entrances. It turns out many of these entrances are no secret as they are on the website for the Musee du Louvre complete with a map which shows you where they are. The entrances I've been told about so far are:
-Carousel (located in the jardin- the entrance leads down some stair cases which lead to an underground ticketing area)
-Rivoli (on rue de rivoli at number 99 - look for these number in gold- there is a door. Go through it and it will lead to the inverted pyramid and ticketing area)
-Porte des Lions (on the opposite side of the street from the large pyramid towards the end of the large building surrounding the jardin are two entrances to underground ticketing areas).
-Metro entrace (supposedly there is a way to get to a ticketing area directly from the metro station stop.
-Stairs in the garden Tuileries (lead down to ticketing areas. Look for statues above the staircases)

France Day 2

2008-05-12T14:46:00.000-07:00

I'm going to this tomorrow:
http://www.grandpalais.fr/programme2.html

Process behind the exhibit: http://www.grandpalais.fr/pics/2008/monum08.jpg

Today we saw Notre Dame. It was amazing, beautiful, and dizzying (especially the stair case heading up to the tower!) We had lunch at a cafe with enormous cheesecake and boissons compris. Apres, I fell asleep for 3 hours. The metro is a bit nullifying in the summer.

Now on the TV: French rap.

Going to France

2008-05-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

I'm flying to France tomorrow. It'll be my first trip to France even though French is the only language I've seriously studied. It's particularly funny that it's taken me so long because I've traveled to so many other places. Ha. I'll be staying in Paris with Schnitzel's aunt and cousins. We're bringing them German soccer hooligan wigs for house warming presents that are colored red, yellow, and black. Yay Deutschland.

Prague

2008-05-05T14:53:00.000-07:00

Day 1
-Pleasantly surprised that rideshare guy is not a Psycho Maniac but instead drives very nice Mercedes / speaks little English
-Stay with friend Tom near outskirts of Prague in his mother's room
-Schnitzel eats a basket of animals & Tom orders a "redundant" (non-alcoholic) beer
-We see our friends Eats Tapes at the Kriss Kross Club

Day 2
-I dream about getting falafel at Mo's Imbiss.
-We see a mouse riding a dog near the St. Charles Bridge.
-Have lunch at a beer-sponsored restaurant
-The Castle: attempt 1
-Schnitzel orders "the pork knee over gynecological equipment"
-We getting ripped off as our waiter tries to charge us 5 euros for a take-away box.

Day 3
-Go to the Czech equivalent of K-Mart.
-See gargoyles puking rain at the Castle and the line is too long to go inside.
-Schnitzel orders an undead cocktail
-Regard 1920s Royal Spanish Porn at the Sex Machines Museum
-Eat dinner at a Merlin-themed pub where Schnitzel orders something called "The Devil's Ring" consisting of every fried food known to man
-Attempted Drum and Bass club is actually a 1960s Czech Acid Rock Party
-I try to go to Radost FX a club that used to be cool and now is what Schnitzel calls an "ESL Dance Party"
-We arrive at just in time to see the sun rising over the protruding bums of the Alien Babies climbing the radio tower.

Day 4
-Ride share guy says smoking engine is "An Easy Fix" and we decide to take the train -Discover Swedish High Schoolers have booked all the seats
-I ride for two and a half hours facing the sun in a locked compartment with 15 other travelers.
-(Finally) Berlin.
-We are home / exhausted.

More pictures here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/everythingandrobots/sets/72157604933126290/

May Day

2008-05-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

Today is May Day. A day when young people fill the streets in celebration, angst, and comradery- throwing bottles and punching each other in the face. I just saw about 40 cops go by on motorcycles, in cars, and vans. We leave for Praha in a couple hours. It is rainy.

Things To Buy In The States

2008-04-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

Before I begin the list, let me note that the conversion rate from euro to dollar is pretty horrendous. It has been getting worse every day since I arrived, meaning that my rent goes up about $10 per month. The rate is now somewhere around 1 euro = $1.60. Hence, all the ridiculous petty items I need to buy from home (I've included the price change in parenthesis so you can see what I mean).

ROOT BEER (non-existent)
Tortillas (5 euro =$7.50 for 5 flour tortillas in Berlin- corn tortillas non-existent)
Refried Beans (vegetarian / canned) (non-existent)
Bottles of Tylenol / Ibuprofen (9 euro = $12 for 18 caplets)
Sammy hair gel (non-existent)
Biore strips / face wash (non-existent)
New shoes: boots, sneaks (50 euro - 80 euro = $75 - $120)
Socks (4 euro per pair = $6.00)
American to European Adapter (I can't seem to find these anywhere)
Shower Rod (it's like $45 here! Dude!)

Things to bring back:
Tape measure (because I never got used to the metric system really...)
Some good books

Things I need to do:
renew driver's license
get a hair cut (easier to explain in English)

Ich bin Auslander und spreche nicht gut Deutsch.

2008-04-24T15:14:00.000-07:00

So I started school this week. It is interesting... The VHS (Volkshochschule) is something like a community college where people come to learn everything from knitting to cooking to, in my case, intensive German.
Today we sang a song to the tune of "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes..." which went:
"Ich bin Auslander und spreche nicht gut Deutsch...
Ich bin Auslander und spreche nicht gut Deutsch...
Ich verstehe nicht was sie sagen
Bitte, sprechen sie mehr langsam
Ich bin Auslander und spreche nicht gut Deutsch."
Half of the class is Italian, and half are Turkish, and a small percentage are various other things (yes, there are three halves to my class). There is only one other American and native English speaker in the class, but all the Italian folk speak English quite well. They also seem to hate me. I think it is because I am borrowing schnitzel's camo-print bag until I can afford to buy my own. Perhaps they think I'm some kind of war loving crazy?
That's not all. Yesterday the teacher asked me how many states were in the United States now (because it is plural - DEN USA) "56?" She asked. "More!" I said, making a joke about her overestimate. "No, no," she responded, "Iraq doesn't count."
Another faux pas was made earlier this morning when I suggested to one of the Italian students that they install a good ol' cafe / restaurant in the school, preferably one serving scrambled eggs. The joke was not responded to in kind. He said, "But you are in Europe now and we don't eat those things. If you want scrambled eggs then maybe you should go to London."
The Italian students are somewhat hard to relate to. For one, the Italian breakfast consists of cigarettes and black coffee. I think if I was from New York maybe I'd be able to fit in a little more. At least we both share a love of abstract art and electronic music. Oh yah, 30% of the class are electronic musicians. Apparently you can't call yourself an electronic musician in Deutsch because "musician" only applies to people who play classical instruments: piano, guitar, etc. Instead, you are supposed to refer to yourself as an "electronic music producer." Sure, sure.
I ran into one of my fellow classmates at an Indian restaurant today. Apparently he is a chef there. He gave Schnitzel and some free drinks, some extra naan, and changed the price of our normal dinner to a "kinder dinner" knocking off about 50%. I will buy him coffee tomorrow as a way of saying thanks.
Travel plans: 1. I'm going to Prague May 1 - 4. May 1st is a disaster in Kreuzberg, the somewhat more angsty / punky part of Berlin where I happen to live. It is a kind of "hate day" where people parade, riot, party, and generally EXPRESS their angst over whatever it is they are angsty about. Bottles are thrown. Cars are tipped. And so I intend to get the fuck out. I'll be visiting my friend Tom who I haven't seen in a bunch of years. He's super chill. It'll be good to see him.
2. I'll be in the states from May 11 - May 18th (or around then) as it turns out I have no school this week due to Pentecost. See you soon meinen freundin!

The Vicious Cycle of Ikea

2008-04-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

Step 1: Buy furniture
i. Look around your apartment and decide what's missing. Allow yourself to sink into the void of material desire.
ii. Commute way out into the middle of nowhere (which is the only place where you can find Ikea). Spend 10 minutes trying to park despite the ridiculous size of the parking lot.
iii. Enter past the thundering, ominously-cheery blue and yellow facade with an enormous feeling of ambition aka "getter done."
iv. Get lost trying to find the wheels to that chair you liked.
v. Try to find a dresser only to realize that they are all more expensive than you had expected. Settle on a cheap shelving unit of some kind.
vi. Get lost trying to find the faucet for your sink. Decide to have some swedish meatballs in "the cafe" while you recover your strength.
vii. Forget what you came here for originally and start buying random cheap kitchen supplies whilst telling yourself "But, it's only three dollars."
viii. Finally get to the bottom floor- the end- only it's not the end, it's isle after isle of cardboard boxes containing the things you just finished shopping for. Grunt while loading massive boxes with unknown heavy contents onto unwieldy cart.
ix. End up at the register only to remember that you forgot to get the legs to your coffee table.
x. Sheepishly fork over $500, wondering just what the hell cost $500 as you only got some book cases, shelves, and some cheapo kitchen crap.

Step 2: Bring furniture back to base.
i. Try to sort cardboard boxes into piles so you know which parts go with each other, only to find later that you've lost (or never grabbed?) that one box with all the nuts and bolts and stuff in it.
ii. Try to screw in thingy with allen wrench only to break allen wrench. Use allen wrench from other package.
iii. Break dowels and/or wind up with "extra" dowels. Yes, this was Ikea's fault. Not yours.
iv. Swear, curse, and blaspheme the stupid asexual Ikea blob thing who keeps pointing to some hole that doesn't exist but is supposed to apparently have a screw drilled into it. Bastard.
v. Complete Ikea furniture with min. number of dowels necessary resulting in unwieldy furniture with incomplete appearance. Drink beer and take tylenol until headache subsides using cardboard box as coffee table.

Step 3: Moving Out
i. List Ikea furniture on Craigslist. Note the excellent condition, full assembly and reasonable price.
ii. Wade through responses from lustful free section watchers who offer to pay you a maximum of $10.00 as well as random anonymous emails of men in leather chaps offering their BDSM services.
iii. Re-list all items at a mark down of 50%.
iv. Repeat step ii.
v. Finally, agree to sell two bookcases, some shelves and the kitchen supplies to some dude in Martinez for $50.
vi. Feel robbed and depressed. Drink beer and take tylenol until happiness returns.

Step 4: New Apartment!
See Step 1.

New Apartment!

2008-03-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

After much moving anxiety we've moved into our new apartment and in doing so learned a great deal about how move ins generally go here.

-For starters, apartments are usually left completely vacant by the previous tenants who will usually take the light fixtures, fridge, oven, even the kitchen sink and cabinets in our case. This can be rather expensive to "fix" so I highly recommend finding a place that has a real kitchen unless you're willing to put forth the effort.

Invisible Kitchen.

-Another thing: the apartments are usually filthy when you move in. I spent 2 hours cleaning our floors & bathroom yesterday only to uncover layers of dirt, dead bugs, and some shattered glass on the balcony that our rental agent kept trying to getting us to clean (but we refused). Luckily, as our rental agency assured us they could clean the rooms earlier we got 100 euro taken off our rent for this month. Now they are shiny and clean.

-Because the housing market is doing so poorly these days, landlords will often spiff up the apartment with nice extras such as new flooring, balconies, or in our case a very excellent queen-size tub.

-Most contracts require you give 3 months notice prior to leaving.

-The deposit is usually 3 times the "cold rent" - or rent without utilities. This can be rather expensive to pay, but you are allowed to pay it over 3 months (they won't tell you this, but it's the law).

-Some rental agencies / landlords will require you to do a lot of work in order to get your deposit back- such as painting the walls, or even refurbishing the apartment if you stay long enough.

More pictures of the new place here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/everythingandrobots/sets/72157604106201473/

Finding An Apartment

2008-03-12T11:54:00.001-07:00

Here are some links for sites that list apartments in Berlin.

Property Managers:
http://www.degewo.de
http://www.taekker.de (These are the people we're renting from)
http://www.ca-m.de/

Advert Sites:
(Note: Some of these sites charge commissions- check the site for details!)
http://www.wg-gesucht.de
http://mopo-immonet.berlin1.de
http://www.studenten-wg.de
http://mieten.immonet.de
http://www.immobilienscout24.de
http://www.rooms-in-berlin.com/
http://www.immowelt.de/

You can also find places by putting an ad out and/or reading the ads in the papers immobelien, zitty, and the local paper. Zitty and Exberliner are also online. Craigslist is an online classifieds site that we used all the time in the states. Here it's sometimes used, but usually for sublets / shares. Expatica is a great site for getting solid information. Unfortunately not many use their classifieds section.
http://kleinanzeigen.zitty.de/
http://cgi.xberliner.com
http://berlin.craigslist.org/
http://expaticade.franglo.com/classifieds

Other ways to get a place:
If you're desperate you can always go through a rental agency. I've heard this can be pricey, but is worth it as they do all the work for you- narrowing down the thousands of available empty apartments in Berlin to just one. Here are some I've found / been recommended to:

-Claudia C. Rehberg
Managing Director
Professional Organizing Relocation Consult GmbH
Post: Wiesenstraße 18, D-65843 Sulzbach
T: +49 (6196) 5946 12 F: +49 (6196) 5946 71
Mail: c.rehberg@proforg.com

http://www.progedo.de/41-1-press-articles.html
http://www.steptoberlin.de/aboutus.htm
http://www.first-relocating.de/

More about relocation agents here: http://www.expatica.com/de/housing/relocation/what-can-a-relocation-agency-do-for-you--571.html

Space Man

2008-03-12T11:52:00.001-07:00

We found this space man printed on the side of an apartment building near Kottbusser Tor.

Banks & Banking

2008-03-09T11:42:00.001-07:00

Today we opened a bank account at Deutsche Bank to keep all our euros in. We chose DB because it seemed like a safe, convenient option for us as Bank of America has an agreement with DB regarding withdrawals at their ATMS. Basically, if you have a Bank of America account, you can use a DB ATM without having to pay any international fees or foreign ATM fees. You do have to pay a 3% conversion fee, but this is usually not too bad.

We opened the account mostly because we're worried that the euro is just going to keep growing in strength while the dollar gets weaker and weaker. Might as well convert a huge chunk into euro now and not have to worry about the conversion rate later on.

We also found that we needed to have a German bank account in order to pay rent. You see, here in Germany they have their own credit system using EC cards and they don't use checks at all. To pay large sums of money people usually wire it from one account to another. To pay regular bills like rent, or health insurance, it's necessary to have a German bank account so you can set up regular transfers.

The bad thing about the DB student account is that it doesn't offer much of an interest rate at all. I think it was 0.5%. Awful really. They have accounts that have larger interest but you need to have a residence permit and full-time job for these. The perks of the DB account include: free checking (which not every bank offers in Germany unlike the states where they're DYING to throw free checking your way), free online checking, free wire payments (from one account to another domestic only).

So now that we have German bank accounts it looks like we're one step closer to "living" here and not just being tourists for an extended period of time.

Transportation Crisis: For Exactly 10 Days (or longer)

2008-03-06T03:25:00.001-08:00

The Skinny: The u-bahn (the tastefully yellow-colored subway which connects the various districts in Berlin) is on strike for the regular reasons unions strike- not enough pay or benefits. Unlike strikes back home, though, this one is scheduled (in the traditional German style) to last from March 4 to March 14- exactly 10 days. At the same time, several sources including the BVG itself are calling it an unlimited strike- saying it will last "at least until March 14th" indicating that the strike could go on as long as it needs to until union demands are met. The strike is also affecting the bus & tram systems, although some so-called "emergency busses" are running on emergency schedules (which seem to be sporadic at best) as per the request of city officials: http://www.bvg.de/index.php/en/Bvg The strike is following a 39 hour long warning strike that happened in February that apparently didn't do much aside from make us all stranded for a couple days. It is also rumored that the S-bahn (the train system which forms a ring around the central districts of Berlin as well as connecting inner districts with their astranged cousins out in the boonies) will also strike starting either this weekend or Monday, but there is no concrete information on this so far (unless text messages from my friend Dennis count as "concrete information".

How To Survive The Strike
Schnitzel and Vegi's Advice:

1. If you don't already own a bicycle, now may be an excellent time to purchase one. You can get them at the flea markets (on sundays) for about 30 euro and up. They'll even let you test-ride them to find the perfect bike for you.

2. If you purchased a monthly u-bahn pass you may be able to talk your way into getting a discount, especially if your German is good, but don't count on it.

3. Meeting new friends with cars will also help. When you make friends with someone who has a car, it's like you're making two friends.

4. In light of the fact that it's been freezing and snowing and raining lately, it may be a good time to take it easy on the clubbing for the next couple of weeks. Just a thought.

German McDonalds - Get Your Lederhos On

2008-02-24T05:40:00.000-08:00

This gave me a laugh (enter the flash site): http://www.mcdonalds.de/flash.php

For the record, we actually went to McCafe yesterday (most of the McDonalds here have full-on cafe's added on to the "restaurant"). I never thought I'd find a Micky Dee's with leather seats and tirimisu. For the record, Carlos says it's one of the better mochas he's had in Berlin (;

The Neue National Gallerie: Jannis Kounellis

2008-02-24T05:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went to the neue nationalgalerie and saw an exhibit by Jannis Kounellis that we had seen a flyer for at a cafe: www.smb.museum. It was a very strange exhibit- mostly a labyrinth of 10 ft high iron walls (partially rusted- a sign before the exhibit said "Danger: The walls of the labyrinth may be dirty") and as you wandered through you would find certain artifacts- an egg, a bit of cotton with a fly on it, bags of coal seated in a circle of chairs, empty coffeee bean sacks that had been strewn together to make a blanket, rolled up raincoats (maybe) with knives poking out of them. Very bizarre.

As most of the "artifacts" had to do with civilization and necessary materials in particular I took it to mean something along the lines that man often lives in poverty- spending his whole life to gain access to the materials that make life possible- food, coal, blankets- the bare necessities. Man spends more and more time trying to find these things until eventually he finds himself in a maze- unable to escape his search for the materials necessary to satisfy his basic needs. As for what this indicates, I can only think one of two things: 1) that art is a luxury those in poverty can't afford or 2) this struggle is in and of itself an artform- it is basic and human in nature and something that needn't go unrepresented. It's hard to tell which. Carlos seemed to think- more or less- that the exhibit expressed how 3rd world countries are exploited for their resources (many of the artifacts were obviously from argentina or other historically exploited countries). At any rate, very interesting. Some more photos are located here: http://www.smb.museum/smb/presse/image_list.php?id_gruppe=109&lang=de&n=3

More photos of Berlin art exhibitions here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/everythingandrobots/sets/72157604101893228/

Photographic Evidence

2008-02-13T10:55:00.000-08:00

For those interested in seeing more photos of our adventures, they can be found on Vegi Schnitzels Flickr at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/everythingandrobots/
Additionally, you can view selectively:

Photos of Kreuzberg / our neighborhood

Photos of us at home

Photos of weird stuff we've encountered so far

The Whole Getting A Job Thing

2008-02-11T04:53:00.001-08:00

For those who don’t know Schnitzel and I in our true, human form I thought I’d take a moment to talk very briefly about the whole job thing. Before Schnitzel and I came to Berlin, we were wondering how we could find work- what with German unemployment being what it is and German taxes being what they are. Our poor language ability probably wouldn’t help us finding a job either. So then what?

Ads for Berlitz, Hartnack, and the plethora of other Fremdsprache schools appear all over Berlin. However, getting a job there is not only difficult for a non-German speaker, but can be monetarily difficult as well.

Having taught ESL for 7 years or so, I thought that might be the obvious route, but after a great deal of trolling the ESL forums on Dave’s ESL Café (aka: the land of old, bitter ESL teachers), Toytown (the land of slightly younger but not much less bitter ESL teachers), and various other sites devoted to the fine pursuit of working for low pay, with no benefits, to spread the good word of Englische, I quickly realized this was not a viable option. Here are the reasons why: 1) getting a job as an ESL teacher not only requires you to know English, but in most cases they will want you to speak pretty good German. (I know this is the case for the major companies such as Wallstreet, Berlitz, Prolog, etc.) You might luck out and find a company that wants to hire you with no knowledge of German, but this is unlikely as even getting through the resume & interview stages will be difficult and there are plenty of English teachers who do speak German floating about. 2) Taxes are a whopping 16% per euro after 7500 euros 3) Additionally, you must mandatorily pay in to a pension plan 19% of your income that I’ve heard tell you can get back after a couple years once you go back to your home country. I think this does not apply if you stay more than 5 years. 4) Once you take taxes and pension and health care (which you usually have to get for yourself) into consideration, you are then losing about 50% of your income (this is the average figure of course) and suddenly that 20 euros an hour doesn’t seem so great. In one case, I heard that an ESL teacher from the states had checked and discovered that she was earning less working as an English teacher per hour than part-time McDonalds employees. Awesome. Another English teacher mentioned that they pay in Germany the equivalent of what they pay in Thailand, where the cost of living is much much lower. 5) This one’s a real kicker. There’s actually a law that states that any employer accepting new hires must for a certain period of time (determined by the job) attempt to fill the position with an EU resident or German national. The period varies per job, but I’ve heard that for ESL jobs it can be 1-3 months. That means, that for an entire 1-3 months they are not allowed (by law!) to hire Americans, Canadians, Aussies, and the like. Why? Possibly because we swear a lot, drink crappy beer, and have currency whose value is rapidly becoming commensurate with toiler paper? I really don’t know. All the same, a no-go.

Supposedly, after taxes are considered an ESL instructor can end up earning about the same wages as an employee of German McDonalds.

Schnitzel (who is a computer-type) was in a similar but different boat. The IT industry is reported as being “desperate” for programmers. However, what they don’t mention is that like any high-paying German job they will also take out 16% tax, expect you to pay a large portion of generally pretty expensive health insurance plans (avg. around 220 euro), and speak fluent German.

Ah, the fast-paced working environment that is telecommuting.

Luckily, Schnitzel and I in the end didn’t have to worry about this as we were able to keep our jobs and work remotely. Honestly, if you’re an American or Canadian and you have the opportunity to work remotely this is a very good option, but unfortunately it does leave your money being 75% of what it is worth back home. Hence, a normal 8 euro German meal is 12 dollars, a 40 euro bike is $60, 600 euros in rent is $900. The relatively inexpensive can become expensive in this way, but at least your taxes can be done in your native tongue, and you don’t have to worry about paying into pension plans you will never use. The other down-side is that getting a residence permit (which is either linked to having a German job or being a German student) leaves you with only one option: school. And if you’re not planning on being a student again this is probably a bit of a pickle for you. Luckily, Schnitzel and I are both intending to enroll in school this April, and as visas are only issued for 6 month periods (unless your German is really good), we’ll probably have to be in school for a long time in order to live here. We'll keep you updated of course on all the wonderful visa action.

Video World

2008-02-11T04:52:00.003-08:00

Yesterday we found a movie rental place called Video World near Kottbusser Tor. They have 3 floors of exciting foreign & German cinema, including everything you would find at your local Blockbuster plus some of the odder titles you might only find on Netflix or Greencine (the independent film alternative to Netflix that Carlos and I used to use back in San Francisco). Movies are arranged thematically, and subcategorized by common actor / director. For example in the “Stoner Movie” section you will find Harold & Kumar, Cheech & Chong, Half-Baked, and what’s this? Lord of the Rings?

They also have a small café/lounge which is probably open at all the times we wouldn’t be there, and a scary bottom floor for films of a mature nature. Now the weird stuff: to open an account they absolutely require your passport. Identification of other sorts won’t fly. Don’t ask me why, this is just how things are done. You also have to put down a deposit of 3 euros on a membership card. Apparently they even reuse membership cards in this country. Lastly, and perhaps most oddly, you pay per day, not just per movie. For example, the movies we rented on Friday at midnight (they’re open until 1) were due back on Saturday at 1:00. We mistakenly thought that the cashier had said we had one day, and so bringing them back before 1 AM would be fine. Unfortunately, as we brought them back at 5 PM the next day this counted as a whole other day of rental for each video, and so we ended up spending 3 euro or so for a day of video watching we didn’t need. Crazy. When I mentioned to the cashier that we have 5 days to return films in the states he looked at me flatly and said “Oh, that’s good.” I would like to say we will not be back, but as long as our computers continue to play region-encoded DVDs we probably will (Carlos’s Macbook & my Sony Vaio both say we have 4 region encode changes left. Whoopie.)

Groceries & Being Green

2008-02-11T04:52:00.001-08:00

After discovering how expensive a normal German meal can be when you take Euro-dollar conversion into consideration, Schnitzel and Vegi decided that it was time for some home-cooked meals. But where to find a grocery store? After looking around on the net, and painfully trying to dislodge the search function amongst the German-labeled links for the major grocery stores, Vegi finally gave up and decided to go for a walk. While on the walk, she found all four of the major staple grocery stores here in Berlin which include: Pennymart, Lidl, Edeka, and Plus. Pennymart is a little scary- kinda cheapo with lots of children running around. Lidl and Plus are probably the best in my opinion, and Edeka seems smaller (at least the one by our place is) and more expensive but good for things like cheese and dairy.

After shopping, Schnitzel enjoys a hearty meal of pasta, shrimp, and a 6 pack of beer.

We decided to go with Plus for our first major supply run. Among the treasures we discovered were: frozen calamari (2 euro), bucket of strawberry yogurt (2 euro), vegi burgers (1,69 euro), pesto (2 euro), and (my favorite) one euro black caviar! We were a bit perplexed to find that at grocery stores you’re expected to either bring your own bag, or buy one at the market. They have some nice ones at Plus for 1 euro. I think it’s a very cool thing that they’re trying to reduce the waste problem that is plastic bags (which take forever to biodegrade and are pretty awful for the environment). San Francisco was trying to do the same last I heard by prohibiting major grocery chains like Safeway from using plastic, and only allowing paper. However, the same problem exists with trashing paper bags- it creates trash and depletes forests. Reuse is really the best way. I’ve also been told that all bottles are reused and if you bring them back to anyplace that sells the same product they’ll refund you a few cents. Very cool. A remarkably green solution that I wish the American people weren’t so squeamish about.

Registration At The Burgeramt

2008-02-11T04:50:00.000-08:00

Today we took the first step towards living legally- registration. Loving the paperwork as they do, the Germans have a law that states both foreigners who want to live in Germany and stay longer than 3 months have to register with the local authorities within 7 days of arriving. Registration basically just means telling the foreign authorities that you’re in town, and that you intend to stay here at least a bit beyond the 90 day tourist mark. We registered on our 7th day here, and so just made the cut off (although I’ve heard that although they may yell at you a bit for being late in registering, it isn’t that big of a deal). The most confusing thing I think was that after looking around on the net everyone seems to suggest that you should go to the ausbelandhorder- of which there is one in all Berlin and it’s not anywhere close to where we live. After researching it a bit more we found out that we’re actually supposed to go to the bugeramt, which is a lot easier- there are 3 in Kreuzberg alone and plenty more all over Berlin. Also, on the net many people seemed to think we should print out a form and bring it with us. Not true- you do that once you get there. All we had to bring was our rental contract for our boarding house and our passports.

Behold the burgeramt!

Apparently, the graffiti in Kreuzberg extends even to government buildings. Cute recycling bins though (;

We went in, took a number, waited for minutes and hours and days to pass, finally our numbers were called, we went in, we talked to a nice rotund German lady with polar bear kitsche scattered around her office, she took our passports, entered the information, returned our passports, gave us a piece of paper with a stamp on it, and that was it! I was amazed, after hearing from various sources on the internet about the stuffy nature of German officials- how they will refuse to speak English with you even though they are required to know some in order to hold government office, how they love to turn you away & make you cry salty expat tears, how long everything takes (okay, that part is true), I was prepared for trauma! Luckily, we left, legal and happy with the paperwork to prove our ambitions.

Schnitzel watches his life slowly pass as he waits to speak with the German officials about his residency. Luckily, there is a soda machine to keep him company.

Another shot inside the registration office in kreuzberg. To keep you from killing yourself from boredom, they include a flat screen TV which displays questions about world geography. I can't think of a better way to keep foreigners entertained than by quizzing them on the population of Lithuania, can you?

On the way home from the Burgeramt we found the euro equivalent of a quarter machine selling what they called "heavy rings." Here's Schnitzel looking totally metal:

A cold, happily registered Vegi Schnitzel on her way back from the Burgeramt.

Bored & Boarding House

2008-02-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

(originally composed 02/01 17:00)
We safely arrived in Berlin at our boarding house which is called The Act of Balance. Upon arrival, we found out all at the same time that the owner of the property died 5 days ago, that our previous apartment had been rented, and that we were being upgraded free of charge to a much larger/nicer unit (for those looking at the website we were originally staying in type 2 but are now staying in type 3). The apartment is pretty big- ALOT bigger than our studio back in San Francisco. There are a few oddities about it however.

Lovely Art-Deco Couch in our apartment's living room.

1) We made an agreement with the owner that we would have high speed internet in the apartment, but due to the erm, circumstances mentioned above this did not happen. As a result, we ended up running from available apartment to available apartment (many of them nicer than this one!) to see if we could get a wireless signal. In the end, the only way I (vegi schnitzel) could get wireless is by sitting in the office directly next to the wireless router. Schnitzel, however, was able to get wireless in the apartment more or less, so we arranged with the manager that we would use the office whenever we needed to until they could have the wireless connection to our apartment repaired. UPDATE: We've since found out that this will not happen for some time, as the person who typically handles internet setup for the building is having a new kitchen installed and is too busy to see to other matters.

Couch & Matching 1990s Dentist-Office-Chic Table

2) There is a broken spot in the couch. We pointed this, and the fact that the main window can actually come off the hinges to the owners, but they seemed to have no problem with it, so I suppose we will just have to sit around it.

Somewhat intimidating / monolith-like living room furniture.

3) For some reason, the "large bed" is actually two twin beds that have been pushed together. This has resulted in much giggling from schnitzel and vegi schnitzel, who are beginning to feel like a Cold War Television couple.

Partially-broken, dangerously looming balcony window.

4) German television apparently consists of 25 channels featuring documentary-style programming about happily employed germans at their jobs. Considering Germany's racing unemployment problem, I can see why they would choose to saturate the country in this kind of programming in an attempt to boost moral.

Seattle ----> Copenhagen & The One Way Ticket Issue

2008-02-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

(composed 02-01-2008 15:45)

We've arrived safely in Copenhagen after a painfully long SAS flight. SAS airlines was actually quite nice- cute little cupholder thingies in addition to the normal tray tables, some interesting multi-cultural choices in in-flight movies displayed via LCD panels on the back of each chair, magazines displaying the princess of some scandinavian country on a horse, not-too-frightening vegetarian meal options for dinner (we slept through breakfast on account of the Tylenol PM we took to conk ourselves out). We arrived at Copenhagen with only 55 min. to transfer to our next flight. Surprisingly, the short transfer time was not a problem at all as security and passport control were a breeze.

Marrakesh - 10 Euro ticket here we come!

This was especially relieving for us considering all the time we had spent agonizing over our one-way tickets due to what we had read concerning them on the Toytown forums. Apparently, some people who used one-way tickets were not allowed to board their flights because of an agreement many countries have with the airlines that states if a passenger is not allowed into a country because they do not abide by the Timatic terms (many of which state you either have to have return tickets or proof of ongoing travel) then that airline must fly the passenger back to the country of origin for free. This made us pretty freaked out, so after much hysteria we decided to buy two one-way tickets to Morocco via the ever cheapo Ryanair (only 10 euro each) so we could at least prove we had "ongoing travel plans." Yes, I know that in retrospect this is all very silly. But when you're up and moving to one of the most anal retentive countries on the planet (in terms of security anyway) you get a little skittish and start doing weird things like purchasing tickets to Marrakech. It's a good thing we didn't need them. The nice ladies at United in SFO only asked us a few questions and after we explained that we were students and needed to apply for Visas in Berlin they let us go without issue. At passport control in Copenhagen they barely looked at our passports, just stamp n' go. Funny all that worrying was for nothing. I'm getting the feeling that a lot of the worrying is unnecessary.

Next Stop BERLIN!!!!

SeaTac & You Got Served

2008-01-31T17:29:00.001-08:00

Vegi schnitzel reporting to you live from Seattle International Airport. We are sitting in the Scandinavian Airways Sateliate waiting for our plane.

Schnitzel stayed up till three vacuuming our San Francisco apartment, awaking Vegi Schnitzel at 1 in the morning to help move a large table into the alley in back of Market St. Both are very tired.

After arriving at the airport, both schnitzels were surprised to learn that all 3 checked baggages were overweight, but very relieved to hear from the kind United Airways representatives that it would only be an extra 50 bucks per bag. After happily paying for the extra 30 or so pounds of schnitzel essentials, schnitzel & vegi took off on their one-way tickets into the wide blue, erm, grey yonder. Next stop is Copenhagen. Last stop, Berlin.

A sleep-deprived schnitzel makes faces at the fish decor in Anthony's restaurant.

p.s. If someone decides you should download "You Got Served" via the Seattle airport's dreadfully slow wireless connection, make sure you have the latest version of iTunes installed, or it will take you 1 hour to download it, and cost you a cool 8 bucks for the whole ordeal.

p.p.s. Schnitzel would like to add "oh boy... Chili's Too serves you the left overs from Chili's One. I think I'm gonna puke."

Margarita thingys at Chili's Too.

Willkommen to das blog.

2008-01-27T22:53:00.000-08:00

Willkommen! Bien Venue! You have reached the journal of Schnitzel (aka: Carlos) and Vegi Schnitzel (Mary)- two San Franciscans with a goal to live in the land of sunshine, fun times, and best of all no paperwork- Deutscheland! Join us as we meticulously pack our bags, perilously worry about visas, jobs, and the like, and totally freak out about increasingly depressing conversion rates. And for those foolish individuals who are attempting the journey themselves- remember that the best way to learn how to do things the right way, is by reading about silly americans doing things the wrong way. Viel glueck!

Schnitzel waves goodbye to our San Francisco apartment.

How much of your life can you really fit in 10 boxes?